Reflections and Conclusions
by Kariesue
Summary: John and Teyla get ready to welcome their new child. What does life have in store for them now? The finale of my 'R and ' universe. Begins shortly after 'Recreation and Vindication'.
1. Chapter 1

_**disclaimer**_: Not mine though I wish they were.

_**rating and warnings: **_M as is typical of my stories

_**A/N:**_ This is the final sequel that follows 'Revelations and Expectations', 'Ramifications and Repercussions', 'Recriminations and Obligations' and 'Recreation and Vindication'.

If you have not read those stories then this could be confusing in spots. I have brought many old friends back but will not take much time to remind you of their previous roles.

_**Thanks:**_ As always to my faithful cheerleader Sagey, who has waved her pom poms furiously for me for years. To Firedew and Kickstand who followed me to my new career and have stayed loyal. Many thanks, dear friends.

_**Feedback:**_ is always loved, appreciated and responded to.

_**A/N: **_It's been a while since I posted anything new on this site. As many of you know I am embarking on a new career in writing. I have managed to write two full manuscripts and have started submitting them to publishers. Unfortunately it is a very long process. I did have a short story accepted for publication for a romance anthology that comes out around Valentine's Day 2014.

But my love for Atlantis and especially John and Teyla still beats strong in my heart. I unfortunately don't have time to continue writing my original stories, writing J/T, plus do my full time day job. But I did want to give all my loyal followers a gift of my extreme thanks. A final story (perhaps) and closure to my 'R and _' universe.

Unlike all my other stories, this is still a Work In Progress. I usually don't like posting anything unfinished but figured if I get enough feedback, it will give me more incentive to continue writing this. I hope this is acceptable. I will make every attempt to post as soon as I finish a new chapter. You know me, I always finish what I start. Now it will simply be when. I apologize for any who assumed the story was complete.

If anyone would like to keep in touch, please feel free to friend me on FaceBook (my pen name is **Kari Lemor**). You may follow me on Twitter (and I will follow back/ friend you if you tell me you are a J/T fan). You can find me on Pinterest (where I store pictures of my many story ideas). All of these with my pen name. And I have recently started a blog. It is on word press under kari lemor . It has snippets of my new works. I would love to see you and keep in touch. Thank you immensely for all the encouragement and support I have received in the years I have been here. You are the reason I got the courage to go further. My gratitude and appreciation.

**REFLECTIONS AND CONCLUSIONS**

by _kariesue_

"Teyla, what in the world are you doing?"

John Sheppard looked at the gorgeous ass of his wife sticking out from under their son, Torren's bed. Normally he would appreciate this sight but she was almost nine months pregnant and the position couldn't be very comfortable for her expanded middle.

She wiggled that gorgeous behind and her head appeared next, hair in disarray and a stuffed giraffe in her hand. She was still on her hands and knees. There were all sorts of things John could think of to do with her in that position but it was the middle of the day, they were in a child's room and said child might return any minute. Not to mention the nine month pregnant thing. That didn't keep his mind from wandering though.

"I was looking for Torren's stuffed animal," Teyla answered from her low plane. "He was asking for it this morning. He said he lost it sometime in the middle of the night."

Teyla reached for the side of the bed and John watched as she struggled to get up. Her center of gravity was off and her large stomach made it hard for her to maneuver like she used to. John moved closer, touching her elbow.

"Can I help you up?" He was cautious with her these days. Teyla had always been independent and proud of being able to do anything. Plus the hormones rampaging through her body sometimes made her a bit testy at times. He didn't need his head ripped off just for trying to help her.

"Thank you, John, yes." Teyla took his hand and he gripped her tighter as she rose. Okay, so she was in a good mood today.

Her breath came out heavy once she was standing and John smiled down at her. He still had a hard time believing this beautiful woman was his wife. And better still, she was carrying his little girl inside her. He lifted his hand to push the hair from her face then leaned down for a kiss.

Teyla's mouth immediately opened for his and he prolonged the contact. When he leaned back he said, "You should have asked me to do it. Or better yet, get TJ to find his own animal. He's old enough. Where is he?"

"Corporal Minelli took him for a walk with Guinness. I usually do this after his nap, however the corporal knew I had the meeting with the Coalition tonight. He thought I might want to rest for a while as it will be late."

"Yeah, Minelli's always doing nice things for you." John tried to keep the jealousy from his voice but at Teyla's smug grin, knew he hadn't succeeded.

"John, you are not still upset about the sparring I used to do with Corporal Minelli, are you? That was ages ago."

"Of course I'm not jealous… I mean upset," he corrected, lying through his teeth. "Why would I be? You married _me_ after all."

Teyla took a step closer, as close as her distended abdomen would allow, and ran her hands up John's chest. Her eyes twinkled and her lips twitched.

"I only flirted with him to make you jealous." She lowered her eyes then raised them again in a conciliatory fashion. "And perhaps to get back at you for flirting with Larrin."

"Huh! See, I knew it. You never admitted that before, you know." He couldn't be upset by the past though. The here and now was so great, it didn't really matter what had come before.

"Yes, well … it is difficult to be with a man who so many women drool over and desire to be with."

John pressed another gentle kiss on her lips. "The only one _**I**_ desire to be with is you. So anyone else doesn't matter. And I think you're exaggerating with the amount of women who have a thing for me. With all the buff marines around here, I consider myself lucky I managed to get you."

"Yes, there _are_ some handsome men in the city," Teyla said and John gritted his teeth. "But you are a vital leader here, extremely intelligent, brave and heroic, fun to be with as well as having a smile that charms women deep inside. Do not underestimate the potency of that combination. And off-world, your position of power is a thrill for those who seek it."

Great, she was saying off-world women only wanted him because he was the military leader on Atlantis. Not that _he_ wanted any of _them_. He knew he needed to get that in his mind or else Teyla would route out his previous thought. She was too in tune to his feelings ever since they'd gotten married. Luckily he could sense what she was feeling most of the time too.

"So, did you get any rest, sweetie?" He changed the subject, wanting to make sure she would be okay for the Coalition meeting tonight. Unfortunately it was on a planet whose time of day was different than that of the city.

"Not much. I kept thinking of all the things I need to do before the baby comes and we go to Earth for Christmas."

"Stop thinking about them then, lie down and rest. Or else I'll tell Woolsey that you can't go tonight. You can't keep burning the candle at both ends, Teyla."

Her eyes narrowed and John felt her frustration. "You mean like getting up at the crack of dawn to go running and working all day, then doing a midnight check of the city every single night?"

John's mouth lifted on one side. "Yeah, maybe, but I'm not pregnant. I guess we're both a bit of workaholics. But you have to admit, I've been better since we got married. Don't I take time for you and TJ every night? Unless an emergency comes along."

Teyla stroked her hand down the side of his face. "Yes, John, you have. Unfortunately many people on base have a very different idea of what constitutes an emergency."

"That's true. Rodney seems to think it's an emergency any time he can't figure out a solution as soon as he sees the problem."

"That and when his coffee runs out," Teyla added with her own smirk. "Are you still planning to accompany me to the Coalition meeting tonight?"

"Yeah, you know I don't like you going without the best protection. And I figure Ronon and I are as over protective as you can get, especially when it comes to you." John could feel Teyla's resentment that she needed protection. After living her whole life is this galaxy she thought she could handle everything. And she _could_ handle most things but ever since they'd gotten together, John had felt a bit more possessive of her as well as that over protectiveness he mentioned. And with her carrying his baby … his concern had grown exponentially.

Teyla sighed. "Then perhaps I need to have an emergency right now that requires the assistance of the Military Commander."

John grinned. Teyla was up to something. He could feel the mischief floating through her. He narrowed his eyes and looked at her curiously. "What emergency would that be?"

"Two things actually. First, I am in need of some sleep so I can be well rested for the meeting tonight. You know how intense these sessions can be. I must be awake and aware or things could easily run away from me. So I need someone to watch over me while I sleep so no one disturbs me."

John's mouth twisted at her request. What else did she have in mind, the little minx?

"Second, I am concerned that my body guard will not be in top form if he has not been allowed to refresh. I may have to insist to Mr. Woolsey that I will only take a security team that has recently had sleep. If someone has been up since dawn and needs to stay awake all night they will not be effective should something unexpected happen."

John pressed his nose to hers whispering, "That's blackmail, you know."

"No, John, it is simply common sense. Now I am going to attempt to sleep. Could you possibly track down Torren and make sure he is brought to Aleeah for the next few hours. Perhaps she would be willing to take the dog as well."

John knew the Athosian who worked with all the city's children would be happy to take the miniature spaniel they had gotten during their trip to Bar Harbor over the summer. The children all loved him and she'd said it was so easy watching them when they were all playing with the dog.

He watched Teyla's hips swing as she walked into their bedroom. He did love watching her walk. She turned back and he realized she knew exactly what he was thinking. Good thing it was always good stuff.

He touched his ear piece and moved to the kitchen to get a quick drink. "Corporal Minelli. This is Sheppard. Come in."

"_Colonel Sheppard, this is Minelli. Does Teyla need TJ back at your quarters, Sir?_"

"No, Corporal. She's just getting around to lying down right now. Would you be able to take TJ to the child care room when you're done? Ask Aleeah if it's okay for Guinness to stay there for a few hours until we get him at pick up time."

"_Absolutely, Sir. Does he need to go right now? We were giving him some exercise and fresh air on the East Pier_."

"Whenever you're done, Corporal, is fine. Thank you. Sheppard out."

John waited a few seconds then tapped his radio again. "Control, this is Sheppard. I'm going to be out of radio contact for an hour or two. I'm going to try and get some shut eye so I won't walk into walls during the Coalition meeting tonight. If there's an emergency, I can be reached in my quarters. But it needs to be a _real_ emergency. Tell McKay that unless Atlantis is about to explode, he doesn't constitute an emergency."

"_I heard that, Sheppard_," McKay's voice rang through John's ear.

A feminine chuckle came back over his head set. "_Acknowledged, Sir. Major Lorne is here and says he has everything under control_."

"Thanks, Major, and uh, Banks … you might suggest to Ronon that he could close his eyes for a few before we leave tonight."

More chuckling then, "_I can suggest it, Sir, but I'm not sure that'll fly too well_."

"I could make it an order but we all know how that would go. I think you still have the most influence over him."

"_I'll see what I can do, Sir_."

John walked back into the bedroom, dropping his radio on the bedside table. Teyla was already stretched out on her side, her eyes closed.

He removed his gun belt then settled next to her, leaving his boots on. They took forever to lace back up and if there was a _real _emergency he didn't want to take the time for them. Teyla roused then moved closer. John slid his hand under her shoulder as she placed her head on his chest and snuggled in deeper.

John pressed his lips to her hair and whispered, "You've got me for the next few hours, sweetie. Get some rest."

"Mmm," Teyla's dreamy voice murmured. "I am always able to sleep better with my favorite pillow."

* * *

"Teyla, Colonel Sheppard, it is wonderful to see you again." Councilor Pitonis of Menaria patted Teyla's hand then shook John's.

"It has been many days, Councilor. You are looking well," Teyla responded. "Minister Smeeden has represented your world the last few times the Coalition met."

"Yes, well Smeeden does like to make his presence known to other worlds. As for how you are looking, I would say you have a definite glow about you. I hadn't realized you and the Colonel were providing Torren with a sibling. How is he? Keston speaks of him often."

"He's great and excited about becoming a big brother," John answered. "How are your boys? Is Keston still giving Palik a run for his money?"

It took Pitonis a second to figure out the Earth saying but it seems he did. "Keston has been a bit more responsible when out with his brother. It seems the accident had a positive effect on him. I still cannot thank you enough, Colonel, for saving his life as you did. And with such a risk against your own."

John's face showed his discomfort with the praise. Teyla knew he hated being the center of attention and brushed off compliments quickly.

John shrugged and immediately diverted attention. "How is Seila? Did she come with you today?"

"No," Pitonis said. "Seila does not prefer to be in the thick of politics. She is happy to assist me with the duties of our planet but she is also happy to stay there with the boys. She does not have the wanderlust that some explorers do."

Teyla looked at John, knowing he had the desire to explore and discover. It was one of the things she was attracted to in him. His curiosity. Of course lately he was fairly happy to stay close to the city. She knew much of it had to do with her condition but he had also mentioned he was getting older and the physical stamina to participate in battles was not as strong.

She would certainly argue about his physical stamina. His body was in excellent shape. He routinely sparred with the troops during trainings and iIn the bedroom, he could go for a very long time without tiring. For which she was extremely grateful. Even in her present state, she still loved feeling her husband's skin against hers, his lips against her intimately. She shivered remembering their interactions just a few nights ago. Torren had gone to visit Halling and Jinto for the night so they had not needed to be quiet or quick.

Heat suffused Teyla's cheeks as John turned perplexed eyes to her. He could feel her thoughts and knew what she was thinking about. They departed from Pitonis and John took her elbow to steer her away to an deserted corner.

His eyes held passion and a touch of humor. "You keep thinking those thoughts, Teyla, and I might need to find an empty room for us to use. My pants are beginning to get a little tight."

Teyla's eyes shimmered with mischief. She reached her hand to stroke his cheek. "There is always that room we used last year. I am sure it would suffice again."

John snorted. "Sure, let's just make sure Larrin doesn't interrupt us this time. Although, on second thought, it might be a bit harder now in your condition. I'm not sure you can do some of the acrobatics presently and you're wearing pants. Maybe once we get back to Atlantis."

"True, but I will hold you to that promise, John Sheppard."

"Absolutely, _Mrs_. Sheppard."

* * *

Kelor banged a gavel upon the wooden table near the front and Teyla knew she would need to sit for the meeting. She squeezed John's hand, knowing kissing him was out of the question. He might tease about wanting her if no one else was nearby but public displays of affection were not his style, regardless of the fact, she rubbed her rounded belly, that they were obviously having sex.

She took her seat next to Pitonis, a friendly face and ally, especially since John had saved his son's life. There were some here that found her alliance with Atlantis traitorous. Fortunately the people of Atlantis had come to the rescue or aid of many worlds and had made many allies. She smiled knowing John was one of the main reasons. If he had information to warn a world of impending danger, then he saw no reason not to share the information.

The meeting began and Teyla listened carefully to all that was discussed. Occasionally her eyes and her mind would wander toward her husband. He was standing near Ronon on the outskirts of the large room, both of them alert to any danger. He never got involved in the politics of the Coalition if he could help it. He left Teyla to speak for the Athosians as well as Atlantis. It was gratifying that Mr. Woolsey had such faith in her also. There was a time that she had not felt so trusted.

The meeting ran long and Kelor finally announced a break. Teyla knew there were people she should speak with regarding several trade agreements but she wished to be near John as well. He had spent some of the meeting touching minds with their daughter and she was envious. She had needed to concentrate more on what the members were saying and could not pay closer attention to her daughter and husband's thoughts.

But perhaps she should allow John his private moments with their child. Being able to tap into her emotions was still new to John. Teyla had helped him this summer to meditate so he could feel her thoughts and emotions and John had been successful enough to reach their daughter as well. Recently he had been able to get inside Torren's mind at times also. The boy was not always thrilled with that.

Torren was a good child but as typical of little boys, sometimes had mischievous ideas running through his head. John made it a point to waylay those thoughts before they turned into reality.

She meandered through the crowd, greeting and speaking briefly with many of the members but suddenly felt John grow tense. Her eyes roamed the room, looking for the cause of strife. She found John near the corner being blocked in by none other than Larrin. Teyla gritted her teeth and stared.

.

* * *

"Sheppard, how is it that you always manage to avoid me at these parties?"

John turned from talking to Ronon and cringed. Larrin. Not that the woman hadn't come to their aid a few times with her fleet and assistance but she had a tendency to get him in trouble with his wife.

"Larrin." He tried for a casual smirk, wondering what she wanted now. "Shouldn't you be looking for some poor sucker to beat up and abuse instead of wasting time with me? I'm on to your little games."

"Sheppard, you wound me." She pouted then ran her hand along his arm. John took a step back but bumped into the wall. How did he always get himself in these situations with women?

He looked up to find Ronon silently laughing at him as he walked away. Yeah, his friend would be no help to him at the moment. He'd have to get rid of her himself.

"Your skin's so thick, Larrin, I don't think much could get through."

"It may be thick, Sheppard," she rasped as her hand brushed his shoulder, "But it's also soft. You should try it out sometime."

John narrowed his eyes at her audacity. "Did you _not_ get the memo that I'm married and my wife can kick major ass?"

"I guess I just hate losing when it's what I want. Something as simple as marriage isn't going to dissuade me. I consider you a challenge. And truthfully, in the condition your wife is in, I can't see her kicking anyone's ass."

John snorted. She obviously didn't know Teyla too well.

"Plus," Larrin took a step closer and leaned in so her face was right near his. "She'd never have to know. While she's busy in the meeting, we can slip away to that room I saw you in last time. You can't be getting your needs fulfilled with her so big and all. Let me relieve some of that tension you probably have. You'll feel so much better."

John appreciated that she wanted him that much. After all, the woman was beautiful. But it was all a game to her. A challenge. What he had with Teyla wasn't worth risking for a few moments of pleasure, not when he could get even more pleasure from his wife. He took a deep breath and pushed past her.

"Not interested, Larrin. You don't have to worry about my needs. Teyla fills them and then some."

"I'd show you one hell of a time, Sheppard," she called back softly as he walked away.

He paused for only half a second. "That I don't doubt. But you'll need to find some other poor sucker. I'm not available."

John moved rapidly away before she could corner him again. Ronon caught up to him, grinning from ear to ear. John just glared at him.

"Thanks for the rescue, Buddy."

"Didn't look like you needed rescuing to me. She didn't have a weapon and she's hardly big enough to take you on."

The glare continued. "You'd be surprised."

"Looked like she had an offer for you. Anything good?"

"Nothing I wanted. But you might be interested. You could be just what she's after. Maybe you could go catch her. She'd give you a wild ride. You might enjoy it."

Ronon narrowed his eyes. "I'm getting married in a few weeks, Sheppard."

"Heck, I'm married and my wife is about to give birth and that didn't scare her off. She said she likes a challenge."

"You know Teyla was watching you the whole time, right?" Ronon changed the subject away from him.

"Yeah, I felt her attention on me. But she knew I was aggravated with Larrin so I think we'll be okay. I should probably go and find her just to make sure."

"Might be a good idea. The break isn't going to last much longer. I need something to eat. You want me to grab you something too."

John nodded and went looking for Teyla. She was, of course, in the thick of a conversation among some delegates from several planets. He moved up behind her but remained silent. She knew he was there.

Once she finished her sentence, she turned around and took his arm. "John, let me introduce you to the representatives from a few new planets that have decided to join the Coalition."

She rattled off names and planets and John tried to remember but names weren't his strong suit. Besides, he had Teyla to remember all that information for him.

"This is my husband, Colonel John Sheppard." The pride in her tone rang like a bell through him. "He is the Military Commander of the city of Atlantis. He is the one responsible for sending aid to your worlds when we learned of the Wraith hive ship heading your way."

John spent the next few minutes trying to keep the gushing to a minimum and promising them they could come visit the Ancient city soon. He hated all this social/political crap. He was really only here to make sure that nothing happened to Teyla, though he knew it was all necessary.

Once they moved away, John steered Teyla to a quiet spot. "I ran into Larrin."

"Yes, I saw. What did she want?"

Teyla knew but was playing dumb. Maybe she was testing him. Though he sensed nothing but trust in her right now.

"Me. Seems she thinks in your condition you can't satisfy me properly. I let her know you were doing just fine."

"Only fine?" Teyla teased. She allowed her hand to run up his arm, similar to what Larrin had done but the effect of Teyla's hand was so much nicer. He tamped down his desire, knowing soon enough he could release it. He leaned down, placing his lips close to Teyla's ear.

"Remember, I made you a promise earlier. I have every intention of keeping it, very soon."

Teyla's eyes glowed impishly. "Oh, I have not forgotten, John. I am looking forward to it very much."


	2. Chapter 2

_Don't get too excited. I have to work all week and there won't be much time for writing._

Chapter Two

"Are we ready to go, John, Torren?"

John looked at his wife and grimaced. She wouldn't like what he was about to suggest but he said it anyway.

"Teyla," Maybe make it better with an endearment. "Sweetie, why don't you let me take TJ this time. I know you've been tired lately and maybe you could just get some rest."

Teyla's hackles rose, like he knew they would.

"Are you saying I do not look good? I am perfectly fine, John. There is no reason to worry about me. Now let us be on our way."

John took a few steps closer and rubbed his hands up and down Teyla's arms, hopefully soothing her ruffled feathers.

"You look as beautiful as you always do, sweetie. But you know me, it's my job to worry about you now, especially with you carrying my little girl inside you."

"That does not give you the right to order me about."

Yep, she was getting testy. Go for full charm mode. "And I'm not ordering you anywhere, sweetie. But you've only got a week until your due date and I guess I'm just a little nervous our little princess will decide to make her appearance early."

"Then we will deal with it. It is not as if the Athosians have never delivered a baby before. A medical facility like we have in the city is not always necessary for the birth of a child."

"I know, you delivered TJ on a hive ship. But what happens if we're on the way to the village when your water breaks, or you start having contractions. It's a thirty minute walk and you know Keller said walking too much can bring on labor. I don't really want to have to deliver the baby somewhere between the gate and the village. And I'm not sure TJ won't freak out a little by seeing his mother in labor."

Teyla seemed uncertain for a moment, so John pushed forward. "And you know I can feel the little princess getting a bit uncomfortable at times in her cocoon. I'd just feel better if you stayed here. I won't be long. I'll walk TJ to the village, leave him with Halling and come right back. Halling said he'd bring him back tomorrow night."

Teyla sighed deeply. John could feel her weariness. This pregnancy made her tired more often though she hated to admit to any weakness. He knew just when she decided to give in.

"Fine, but make sure Torren knows his manners and does not give Halling or Jinto a hard time."

"Mama," TJ piped in, "I don't give anyone a hard time. I pwomise. I be a good boy. I always a good boy."

"I know you are sweetheart," Teyla said, running her hand through his short curls. "I did not mean to imply that you were not."

"She just likes to give me orders, TJ," John teased. "Makes her feel in charge."

"Oh, you." Teyla glared at him and swung her hand playfully in his direction. John caught it and pulled her closer.

"I don't mind you giving me orders, Teyla, usually they're ones I want to follow anyway. Maybe after I come back, you'll give me some really good ones." He waggled his eyebrows at her and she rolled her eyes.

"Go!" She narrowed her eyes at him then reached for her son. "Give me a kiss before you go, Torren. I will miss you while you are away. Enjoy your time on New Athos and with your father. Give him my regards."

"I'll miss you too, Mama. Daddy," his attention immediately moved once he'd kissed his mother. "Tan we bwing Guinness with us? I thint he want to go for a long wott."

John thought for a second. "Sure, but he has to stay on a leash, especially once we're on New Athos. If he gets loose we might never find him. And he has to come back here with me. Halling didn't sign up for taking care of a dog along with a little boy."

John leaned down to give Teyla his own kiss, one a bit longer and more passionate than TJ's. She returned it heartily and mumbled, "Of course Kanaan should be watching him while they are there, not Halling."

John just shook his head knowing Halling did most of the care giving while TJ was off world, supposedly visiting with his father. But Kanaan hadn't felt very paternal to TJ in the past few years. He would never understand that. He loved the boy as if he were his own.

He took TJ's hand, allowing him to carry the leash that he had already gotten ready. He was amazed at how much responsibility the boy had taken since they got the dog. It was what they had hoped for but John wasn't sure a not-quite-four year old would live up to the challenge.

As they walked to the gate room, TJ talked to Guinness, explain where they were going.

"We goin' a New Athos, through a gate. It otay a go through a gate but it tan be a little stary at first. I'll hold you tight so you be otay. Then we see Halling and Jinto. They be my fwiends. You lite them, I thint."

A few transporters later and they were entering the large, windowed room. The SO's on duty immediately snapped to attention. John chuckled inwardly. It still gave him a tingle to see them do this for him. And they truly did respect him. It felt good, especially as most of his life he'd been such a screw up.

"Oh, Colonel," Woolsey called out from his perch outside his office. "While you're there, could you mention to Halling about the new trade agreement we negotiated through the Coalition? I thought he'd be interested and perhaps want to get the Athosians involved."

John looked up at the man. "Absolutely, Mr. Woolsey. I'd planned on it. I've got the particulars stuffed in TJ's bag here." He indicated the small backpack that was slung over his shoulder.

"Thank you, Colonel. Have a good trip. Is Guinness going over night, too?"

"No," John called back and saw TJ pout just a tiny bit. "He's just taking the walk with us. I think after this, he won't need a walk for a few days."

"Very good." He walked back into his office without another word. John just shook his head. And they said _he_ had no social skills.

John looked up at the Control Room. "Okay, Chuck, dial it up."

The chevrons lit up and soon the event horizon was rippling, waiting for them to step through. John pulled on TJ's hand but the child looked scared and held up his arms. John sighed. He needed to go through without being held at some point.

"You said you were going to help Guinness on his first trip through, right? I can't hold both of you. I can hold _you_ or _Guinness_."

TJ's face screwed up and John wondered if he was about to cry. He could actually hold both his son and the dog but he needed TJ to stop being so afraid of going through the gate.

The boy looked at the dog, took a deep breath and said, "Otay, Daddy, you hold Guinness so he don't be afwaid. But tan I hold your hand, too."

"Of course you can, Pal. I'm right here beside you."

John smiled at the bravery exhibited by the small child and pride swelled inside him. He picked up the dog then pulled TJ close to his side, holding his shoulder as they took a step toward the gate. TJ wrapped his arms around John's leg though kept them loose enough that John wouldn't trip. He was learning.

They came out the other side and when John looked down, he saw TJ beaming with pleasure. He had done it. Taken his first steps through the gate without someone holding him.

He lowered Guinness to the ground then crouched down next to TJ. "Nice job, Pal. You're really getting to be a big boy, aren't you? You just walked through the gate all by yourself. Wait until your Mom hears about it. She'll be so proud of you."

TJ beamed even more. "You pwoud of me too, Daddy?" John loved that he wanted his approval as well. His heart beat faster with love as he stared at the child.

"I'm very proud of you, TJ. That was a brave thing you did. And you aren't even four yet. Imagine what kinds of things you'll be doing once you turn five."

TJ's eyes grew wide, excitement shining brightly. "You hear that Guinness, I vewy bwave. Daddy said so. You can be bwave next time too and maybe go through a gate by yourself. Now we go a see Halling. But it a vewy long wott otay."

John handed TJ the leash and watched as TJ scampered down the path toward the Athosian village. He'd been here so many times, he knew the way.

After about fifteen minutes, Guinness slowed down and TJ did too. This was usually around the time the child asked to be carried. John usually didn't mind. There was nothing nicer than holding this child in his arms. Well, maybe holding Teyla in his arms but that was another thing altogether.

"Daddy, I was thinting…"

John laughed. He loved it when TJ mimicked other people. This little bit usually came from Rodney, who did far too much thinking sometimes. He looked down to the confused face of the boy he loved like a son.

"How tum I need a see Tanaan when I get here?"

John paused for a second then resumed walking, trying to appear casual. TJ had never questioned this before.

"Kanaan is your father and he wants to spend time with you."

"But you my Daddy, not Tanaan. Daddy and father are a same, wight?"

This was going to be tougher than he thought. Maybe he should have let Teyla come. "Um, well, TJ, they are in some circumstances. It's kind of complicated and hard to explain."

John ruffled the boy's hair as they walked along the path. "I'm the Daddy you live with. But you see, Kanaan is your real father. He's the one who put you in your Mom's belly. But he and your Mom didn't get married like we did."

TJ wrinkled his nose and squinted. "So you put a new baby in Mama's belly, not Tanaan, wight? Betause she thint you her Daddy and she don't know Tanaan."

John chuckled. "Yes, I put your little sister in Mommy's belly. Your Mom and I are married and love each other and want to stay together forever."

"Mama not love Tanaan?"

John took a deep breath. "Well, she did love him but only as a friend. Not the same way we love each other."

"So Mama and Tanaan not tiss all a time lite you do?"

John groaned. This conversation was bringing back all sorts of insecurities and memories he didn't want there. He still remembered how devestated and broken hearted he'd been when he'd learned Teyla was pregnant. The pain had twisted like a knife and he had lashed back at her instead of being the friend she'd needed. He still regretted his actions.

"They may have kissed a little but only for a tiny bit." He hoped so anyway. He didn't like thinking they'd been romantic for very long. Teyla said it was only one time and John liked to think it had been a quick coupling that meant nothing. Yep, he liked his delusional status.

TJ still looked perplexed as his gaze wandered around the clearing. His lip pouted and his eyes turned moist. "But I want you be my real Daddy."

John stopped and knelt down in front of him, pulling him close. "I am your real Daddy in many ways, TJ. I don't think of you as someone else's son. I think of you as mine. I love you as if you _were _my own. But biologically, you are Kanaan's. That means you have the same blood."

"But I want _your_ blood, Daddy. I don't want Tanaan's. He don't love me lite you love me."

John rested his forehead against TJ's and swallowed hard. Moisture filled his own eyes as he felt the pain in this child's heart. He knew the pain of thinking your father didn't love you. He'd felt like that most of his adult life.

"I'm sure Kanaan loves you, Pal. Maybe he just doesn't show you as much because he doesn't see you as much."

"But if he my Daddy, he want to see me, wight? Tanaan don't want a see me. He just be with Halling."

John kissed the boy's head and sighed. He was pulled in two directions. He hated that TJ felt this way about his own father. He was right, fathers _should_ want to see their children more than once every other month. But he also was jealous of TJ loving someone more than him. And he felt guilty about that. The child should love his biological father more than the man his Mom had married. He tried to convince himself of this but he knew that he gave TJ far more love and guidance than Kanaan ever had.

"How do you know he doesn't want to see you? I'm sure he does but because he hasn't been around little boys as much, maybe he isn't sure what to do."

"I know," grumbled TJ and his eyes filled up again. He reached for John's shirt front and patted the fabric. "I loot in here, Daddy. I see all a big love you got and it weally big for me. But Tanaan," he pouted once again, "I loot in him and it not weally big."

Surprise swept through John like a wave upon the shore. He knew TJ could feel Teyla and the baby's emotions and he was able to now feel TJ's but he'd never thought about TJ feeling how much he loved him. He also never thought about TJ knowing what Kanaan was thinking or feeling. But Kanaan also had 'the gift' so of course TJ would be able to feel him.

"I'm sorry, Pal." John pulled the child in for a hug and held him tight. "I never realized you felt that. But you know that your Mom and I love you very much. We have enough love to cover everybody and then some. And I know Kanaan does love you. Just maybe not in a way that you can feel. Give him a chance, okay?"

TJ sniffed then kissed John's face. "Otay, Daddy. Maybe he love me more when I get bigger. But you always be my Daddy, wight? And you love me weally big now, wight."

"I do love you really big now, Pal. And that love will never go away, no matter what size you are. I promise."

"I love you, too, Daddy. And my love stay weally big all a time."

"Thanks, Pal. I appreciate it. What do you say we get moving again? I think Guinness got enough rest and Halling will be expecting us."

TJ's arm tightened one last time then eased off. "Otay, Daddy. We go."

John stood as TJ grabbed hold of Guinness's leash. It was a miracle the dog hadn't taken off with the two of them distracted. But the walk this far must have tuckered him out enough that he had just sat down and rested.

John followed TJ's bouncing body over the last few minutes of the path. He hated that the child had felt Kanaan's apathy during their visits. The boy was a joy and John couldn't imagine not having him in his life. He'd just have to make sure TJ always felt how much he was loved by both he and Teyla. Selfishly, he thought, they were all that mattered.

* * *

John strolled along the path back from the village after dropping TJ off. There had been a few tears when he'd taken the dog and left but John wondered if some of them weren't a leftover from their previous conversation. He'd have to mention this to Teyla and see what she thought. Maybe she'd have some suggestions for helping TJ get through this. Emotions weren't really his strong point.

Guinness stopped just as they were approaching the gate to relieve himself. John moved closer to the woods, thankful he was doing it now instead of in the gateroom. Woolsey would have a fit regardless of how much he liked the animal.

As he moved near a tree, the gate suddenly came alive and settled into the event horizon. John kept one hand on the leash and his other on his sidearm. He hadn't brought his P-90 since he knew he might need to carry TJ for part of the way.

The blue rippled and two people walked out. It was Kanaan and a woman John had never seen before. Must be the lady he was seeing when Teyla broke it off with him. The bastard. As much as John was glad the man hadn't given Teyla a hard time about ending their relationship, he still hated that he'd gotten on with his life while Teyla was still partly clinging to the past. John would have made his move if he'd known Kanaan and Teyla had meant nothing to each other. Or maybe he wouldn't have. He had to admit he'd been stupid.

Guinness finished his business and John pulled him toward the gate. He nodded his head and greeted, "Kanaan."

"Sheppard," the man responded then lifted his head toward his companion. She was pretty but nowhere near the beauty that Teyla was. He might be a little biased though. "This is my friend, Galaia. She wished to see the Athosian village."

John knew he brought her often when it was his time to see TJ so that was just an excuse. Halling had let him know as well as TJ mentioned her. It seemed she enjoyed playing with Torren more than his own father did.

"Nice to meet you, ma'am."

"It is my pleasure, Colonel."

"I assume Torren is in the village with Halling," Kanaan said brusquely, intent on moving along but feeling the need for niceties.

"Yeah, but maybe there's something you need to know."

Kanaan paused in his steps and looked curiously at John. "Has Teyla delivered your child then?"

John smiled thinking of Teyla, all big with his daughter. "No. not yet but it'll be soon. TJ's pretty excited about it. But what I wanted to say was that TJ was a bit upset earlier. It seems he can feel your emotions."

"Yes, Teyla had the ability to do that as well, when she wanted to. I attempt to stay out of other people's minds. _Torren_," he emphasized the name, hating when John called him TJ, "does not need his father knowing everything he is thinking."

"Yeah, I gathered. But you might be interested in knowing that he doesn't think you love him. I know you don't see him that much but maybe you could give him a little more attention when you come to see him. Make him think he's more than just an obligation. Because he's a hell of a lot more to me and I'd be happy to just keep him on Atlantis instead."

Kanaan's jaw clenched and his eyes widened. "It is not your business, Colonel, how I interact with my son. And I would think you would wish for him to be closer to you than to me. It is what Teyla has desired all along. Even to the point of wishing you had fathered the child."

John was taken aback. "Teyla said that?"

"Not in so many words, no. But I am able to sense her feelings as well and I would see her with you and know how much she cared. One time those wishes did come through. It has been difficult to look at my son since then without those thoughts intruding."

John took a second to process what Kanaan had just said. Teyla had wished he'd been TJ's biological father. Wow. He could see why Kanaan might be upset if he happened upon those thoughts when he and Teyla were together.

"I'm uh … sorry, Kanaan. I didn't realize. Yeah, that must have sucked. But it still doesn't mean you have to shut the child out. He never did anything to hurt you. But your lack of emotions toward him are definitely hurtful. I don't expect you to all of a sudden become Father of the Year but a maybe you could talk to him a bit more. Ask him about his life. Ask him about his new dog. This is Guinness. We got him a few months back on Earth. TJ is nuts about him."

Kanaan looked cautiously at the spaniel then nodded. "I understand, Sheppard. I do not wish for my son to think I do not care for him. His speech does seem to be more comprehensible now so perhaps you are correct. I need to engage him in some conversation."

"I think he'd like that. Thanks for listening and understanding. Enjoy your visit and let Halling know the next time you want to see Torren. We'll be on Earth for a few weeks but we'll be back long before your time to visit again."

Kanaan nodded and started to move away. The man didn't like John, he knew. The feeling was more than mutual. But for the sake of TJ, he would be cordial.

"Sheppard," Kanaan called out as John approached the DHD. John turned to see a smile on the other man's face. It almost looked real. "Good luck with the delivery of your child. And tell Teyla congratulations and I wish her all the best."

John just nodded then began to dial. Kanaan and his friend had already moved away. As the chevrons glowed and John walked through the event horizon, he thought of TJ and hoped he had a better time with this visit.

He also thought of the fact that Teyla was by herself in their quarters. Maybe she had gotten some rest while he'd been gone. Because if she wasn't too tired, maybe he could sweet talk her into giving him some of those orders he'd talked about earlier. Some alone time with him would be nice. He'd made her a promise at the Coalition meeting and he needed to make sure he delivered.

Especially since once she really delivered … their daughter, he wouldn't be getting any of _that _for quite a while.


	3. Chapter 3

_This one has a bit of steam, be warned._

Chapter Three

* * *

"Now you need a mate sure he eat all his food evewy day. And he need a do poop and pee pee when he get up in a morning or he do it all over a floor. Then it be gwoss to pit up." TJ finished his directions to Woolsey, his face all screwed up at the last words.

Woolsey patiently nodded. "I understand, Torren. Thank you for the detailed instructions. I think Guinness and I will be just fine. I used to have a dog, you know. And I thank you for allowing me to take care of him while you're gone. He's a very good dog. I'll enjoy having him with me."

"Otay." TJ handed the leash over to Woolsey. His expression showed his sadness at leaving the animal.

"We'll be back before you know it, Pal," John said as he ruffled the boy's hair. "You'll be so busy with Uncle Dave's horses and your new cousin that you won't even notice how long we'll be gone."

TJ perked up at the horse comment and started galloping around the gate room. Teyla threw John a look, the one that said, '_Did you have to get him all riled up?_'

"What I still don't get, Sheppard," Rodney chimed in as they gathered near the gate, "is how you managed to get more time off this year. You had a few weeks this summer and now you're leaving again for at least three more. I assume you'll be staying there for Ronan's wedding on New Year's Eve."

John nodded and moved slightly away as Teyla fussed with the bags.

"I get five weeks every year, Rodney. And Landry actually felt bad about Armstrong almost killing me and Teyla, that he didn't count some of the time we were on Earth this summer."

John looked around again to see that Teyla and Jennifer were going over a list so he lowered his voice. "And you heard the rumors that have been circulating around some of the planets. Interest in Wraith and Lantean physiology has been noted. Well, Teyla's got the Wraith thing going and our baby has both. General O'Neill thought it might be a good idea for Teyla to have the baby on Earth and stay there for a little while."

Rodney looked at Teyla now. "You haven't told her this, have you?"

"That O'Neill wants her out of Pegasus for a while, no. You know how she gets whenever someone tries to protect her. She'll fight it tooth and nail."

"But how are you hiding it from her? I thought she had that mind reading thing going on with you."

John rolled his eyes. "She can't actually read my mind, McKay. She can sense how I feel, what my emotions are. If I'm thinking about that, it probably comes across as anxiety and worry for her. She already knows I worry about her. That's nothing new."

"Well, I'm only getting a week for Ronon's wedding. I still don't think it's fair that you get more."

John glared at his friend. "You had two weeks this summer and you were enjoying your honeymoon while Teyla and I were fighting for our lives. Plus, you're far too important for Atlantis to go without you for very long. The place would crumble."

Rodney's face lit up and his smile was smug. "You know, you're right. This place would fall apart without me. Who knows what catastrophes might occur while I'm gone."

John stifled the laugh at his friend's ego. Luckily he knew just what to say to get Rodney off his case about taking time off. Woolsey wasn't thrilled at having his Military Commander gone for three weeks but he also didn't want anything to happen to Teyla or the baby. Lorne would spend some of their time away investigating the rumors.

John walked over to where Ronan was tussling with TJ. "So, big guy, you ready for the old ball and chain in a few weeks?"

Ronon growled then he lifted his eyes to the control room where his fiancée was working. The sneer turned to a grin. "Yeah, I'm ready. Lorne said he'd show me some new quarters we could move into over the next week. Then we'll both head to Earth. Amelia has a ton of stuff she needs to do before the wedding. Her sister and Mom have been trying to do most of it but apparently there are some things you have to have the bride for."

Ronon shrugged like he couldn't imagine what. John just rolled his eyes. He'd find out soon enough. John had been through the wedding thing twice. That was two times too many for any man.

"Are we just about ready to go, sweetie," John asked Teyla then glanced around to see who had heard his slip. He didn't normally call Teyla an endearment in front of others, certainly not his men. Timson was hiding a grin so John glared at him. The man owed John, he would hardly be starting gossip around the city.

Teyla was still discussing some business with Woolsey so John walked over and picked up her bag, slung it over his shoulder then hefted his own. "You know if we wait any longer, this kid will be starting high school."

Teyla's eyes bore into him and he smiled. But she nodded her head at the administrator, picked up Torren's bag and held out her hand for him. Torren ran to give Guinness one last hug then skipped back to his mother's side. The gate engaged and they walked through. John noted that when they came back, their family would have grown in size. That was an amazing thought.

….

* * *

"He's sound asleep."

Teyla heard John's words and sighed. Torren had been fighting sleep for quite a while. They had been on the Mid Way Station for six hours so far and would need to stay another six. She was hoping Torren would sleep for the rest of that. It was always the hardest part of traveling to Earth.

"Thank you for settling him down, John. You have always had the magic touch with him. Apparently you still do."

John crossed the room to where Teyla sat in a comfortable chair and leaned down close to her face. "Do I still have the magic touch with you?"

Teyla smiled at her handsome husband. "You have the magic touch with many things."

She wrapped her arms around his neck and he knelt down in front of her. Teyla leaned in to press her lips against his. Soon she would be busy with a new child and these moments would be scarce. Perhaps she should take advantage of the time alone. She glanced over at Torren asleep on the bottom bunk. It would have to do. He was exhausted and would sleep for some time.

"Have I told you recently that I love you, Teyla?" John asked as his hands skimmed her increasing curves.

Teyla grinned, allowing her own hands to roam over his broad shoulders and firm chest. "I do not believe you have said it today. That is quite remiss of you."

Teyla loved teasing her husband but also knew he had made an extensive effort to let her know of his feelings as often as possible. With their connection, it was not necessary but John had told her he never wanted her to doubt that she was vitally important to his existence.

John looked up into her face and she could see the love he felt shining brightly from his eyes. He opened his mouth but Teyla pressed a finger against his full lips.

"Perhaps you could show me instead of speaking the words this time. Too much noise could wake Torren. I would prefer him to sleep right now."

"Show you?" John's eyebrow rose and his lips twisted into the crooked grin she so adored. "Um, are you sure? TJ's sleeping right there, hogging most of the bed. And I don't imagine you want to climb onto the top bunk."

Teyla threw a glance at the sleeping arrangements in the room and her eyes twinkled merrily. "We do not need to use a bed. You have shown me often enough how creative you can be in such matters."

"Creative, huh?" John appeared doubtful as he gazed at her large belly. "I can sure give it a good try."

"You should do more than try, John," Teyla whispered seductively then moved her legs to pull John closer. She unbuttoned his shirt and slid it off his shoulders then reached for the hem of his black t-shirt. He lifted his arms allowing her to remove it from him then sat back on his feet to stare at her.

"Are you sure this is a good idea with TJ sleeping right there? What if he wakes up while we're … you know … in the middle of something?"

"He has seen you without a shirt before. You walk around our quarters often enough like this." She reached out and caressed the skin of his shoulder then trailed it across his chest. "But perhaps you are correct. We should not remove everything. However, we can still enjoy each other regardless."

"Hmm, enjoy each other," John hummed as his hands reached for the few buttons of her top. He opened them and smiled at the sight. Teyla knew her breasts had grown quite large since she had been with child and John had mentioned several times how beautiful she was though he had been staring at her chest.

"Do you see something you like, John?"

"Something I like very much."

"Then perhaps you should explore it while you can," she urged. "Very soon these will be kept quite busy with a very different purpose."

John lifted a hand and ran it across the top of one curve. Teyla shivered at his caress. No matter how many times he touched her, she always had the same reaction, instant need and passion. Even when she was extremely tired, John had a way of making her feel very loved and desired.

His other hand rose and soon he was gently squeezing and caressing as Teyla held onto his shoulders. She pulled him closer and let her own hands wander and roam the lean muscles of his back and neck. His skin was soft in this location as compared to that of his hands. His hands were rough from the type of work he did but she still enjoyed the feel of it against her skin. The friction caused waves of longing to settle deep inside her core.

Teyla gasped as John's fingers pulled on her nipples, the peaks now rigid and highly sensitive. Then he moved his mouth near and the anticipation nearly killed her. Slowly his lips settled on her skin then his tongue appeared to flick at her nipple.

"John," she rasped, attempting to keep her voice down. Need burned inside as he licked and nipped. Her hands tightened on his head and she rested her face against his hair to keep from crying out. The world tilted and Teyla clenched her knees tighter around the man pleasuring her. He gave each summit a turn while gently twisting the other between his fingers.

Teyla pressed her lips to the top of his head and John tilted his chin up to capture them. She took the lead and thrust her tongue between his lips as her hands stroked down his chest. Her fingers swirled in the hair covering his pectorals then followed it down to where it circled his navel.

John now sucked in a breath and leaned back. Teyla took advantage, her lips traveling down the path her fingers had just taken.

"You should get up, John. I am too large to lean down too far."

"Teyla," John began but she merely shushed him and pulled him to standing. Her hands reached for his belt and began to undo it. John closed his eyes as his fingers pushed into her hair. Soon she had what she wanted. He was firm and erect and quivering at her touch.

Her tongue teased his tip and she could feel desire and longing surge inside him. The connection they shared allowed her to take his cravings and join them with hers. She wondered if some day it would become too much for them. It had not yet.

Her lips took him in and her tongue danced up and down his shaft. John held her head and she could feel his fingers clench in her hair, not too tightly but enough to let her know how affected he was by what she was doing.

"Did we, um …" John drew in a huge breath as she sucked on the head of his arousal, "remember to lock the door. Can you imagine Kavanagh's face if he walked in to this?"

"I am sure he would be quite envious of how endowed you are."

John snorted. "Oh, yeah, I'm sure the envy wouldn't have anything to do with what my gorgeous wife is doing to me right now."

"What is it I am doing to you, John?"

"Driving me completely insane."

Teyla paused in her act. "Then you wish me to stop?"

"Never. But maybe I should check that door, so hold on right where you are."

John took a few quick steps to secure the door and Teyla enjoyed the sight of his taut rear end that was just visible above the drooping pants hanging off his hips. She stood when he turned around and his smile turned into a pout.

"Are we done?" His tone was disappointed yet there was no censure in it. This is why she loved this man so much. He adjusted to every circumstance he was in. If she had decided to end their interaction, he might be frustrated but he would never get angry with her.

"No," Teyla answered and swept her hand in the direction of the chair. "I thought perhaps we could change positions. I think you will like this one as well."

His eyes lit up and he settled in the chair, pushing his pants just a tiny bit lower as he did. Teyla stifled her laugh then sauntered near him. His eyes devoured her as they always did when they were alone. Teyla wondered at his control. She could often feel his desire coursing through him when they were in public but his outward appearance was always calm and detached. She knew different. She had often wondered if he did it to try and get her to lose her calm exterior as well.

Teyla leaned over allowing John to play with her breasts that still hung free though were hidden occasionally when her top swung back into place. She reached for her skirt and began pulling the long hem up her thighs.

"You may have to assist me with one article of clothing, John. I fear my expanded middle makes it difficult to bend very far."

John drifted his hands up her legs then tugged on the lace at her hips. "Is this what you need me to remove, sweetie? I think I've had some practice with this before."

"Yes, I believe you have. Quite often in fact. It is one of the reasons I am in this condition."

The lace was lowered and John pulled it from her as she lifted each leg. "As I recall you got in this condition due to a bottle of some alien moonshine. That and hiding from the Wraith for a few days in a cozy little cave all decked out in blankets and bedding."

Teyla rested her hands on John's shoulders and leaned into him. "Hmm, yes, I will admit to fond memories of that cave. Seems we participated in activities like this even before we found the spirit drink. Not that I am complaining. Carrying your child inside me has been my dream for a very long time."

John continued running his hands up and down Teyla's legs and caressed her inner thighs. "Did you really wish that I had fathered TJ?"

Teyla was confused. Why had John asked this? She had longed for John to be the one who had planted his seed in her when she was pregnant but how had he known? She had not thought of that in some time. She looked at him, confused.

"Kanaan told me," John said pausing in his ministrations.

"Why …"

John pulled her close and nuzzled his nose between her breasts. "Remember I told you about TJ sensing Kanaan didn't love him. Well, I mentioned it to Kanaan when I saw him at the gate. He told me then."

"Yes, well…" Teyla had a hard time talking when John's lips were on her nipple and his fingers were pushing into her warm center. "You have always been the only man I loved. I could think of nothing better than carrying your child."

"And you are now, so all is good."

Teyla whimpered at the shaft of desire that spiked through her. John's fingers were sending her passion into a frenzy. She pushed at his shoulders and hiked her shirt up to her hips, settling on his lap. She slowly lowered herself and found he was guiding his manhood straight into her, impaling her on its strength.

Once she was fully seated she wrapped her arms around John's neck and kissed him, hard and long. He swelled inside her and groaned.

"God, Teyla." He didn't finish his thought but she could feel his emotions. Passion, love, desire, longing, need, they all swirled together in his thoughts and Teyla sent back her own thoughts of hunger and quenching her thirst.

Teyla adjusted her ample girth hoping she was not too heavy for John's lap. When he pulled her closer and mumbled, "You're perfect, Teyla," she knew she was not.

"This feels heavenly, John. I could sit here all day in this position, it feels so wondrous."

"You could," John teased, smirking. "But you might get tired after a little while. I was thinking you might like to nap next to TJ for a bit before we head to Earth."

Teyla sighed. "Yes, a nap does sound lovely though not until I have finished getting what I wanted from you."

John's eyes gleamed. "And what exactly did you want from me?"

"I want you to make me shatter into a million little pieces."

"A million, huh? Those are some high expectations. How about ten thousand?"

"Never settle, John," Teyla instructed. She began to move her hips and whispered saucily, "And perhaps you are satisfied with ten thousand but I know I am capable of a million. And I will happily take you with me."

Urges burned inside her as she rocked and lifted, swaying in rhythm to the beat of her heart, John's heart. John gripped her hips with his hands and assisted her. His own hips matched her syncopated movements.

"Yep, definitely going with you, Teyla," John groaned, his lips seeking hers, his tongue thrusting in the same frenzied movement as his arousal. "You… are … so … generous."

John could barely get the words out through his labored breathing. Passion soared inside her, climbing along with John's, reaching a plateau then grasping to go higher. She could see the summit within reach and doubled her pace. John knew where she was and ascended with her, reaching for that pinnacle.

Thrusts and gyrations combined and soon they crested the top. John lowered his lips to her breasts and nipped at her tight bud, causing Teyla to topple over the edge and shudder with fulfillment. John joined the culmination, holding her tight, clinging to her as they rode the waves together. Muscles tensed as a flood of hunger surged through every fiber, every cell, then shattered into tiny shafts of light.

"Did you get a million?" John asked breathlessly.

Teyla laughed quietly. "And then some. You?"

"Oh, yeah, pretty close to a million, I think. I shouldn't have doubted you."

Teyla leaned against him, sagging, spent. "I believe you had doubts in yourself. I did not. You have always provided me with a million. I knew this time would be no less."

John just stared at her and Teyla blushed. They had been married for the better part of a year and were expecting a child together. They routinely made love but for some reason the look John was giving her now was so raw and elemental, Teyla felt bare and exposed.

"John?"

John's crooked smile appeared. "Sorry, I was just getting sappy. You do that to me, Teyla. Get me thinking all sorts of mushy things that guys aren't supposed to think. It's never happened with anyone but you. You make me weak like that."

"No, John, I make you strong. Strong enough to admit that you have feelings for another. For many years I felt I had to hide these feelings too, but not anymore. I am proud of my love for you. Proud enough to carry your child and give her your name."

John slid his fingers into her hair and kissed her cheek. "Thank you, Teyla. For loving me like you do, putting up with me, giving me the most exquisite gift anyone could ever give a man. I only hope I can give back even a fraction of what you give me."

Teyla's lips found his. "You give me _more_ than I ever imagined. _More_ than I ever dreamed. You are _more_ than the flights of fancy of a young girl's heart."

John pressed his forehead against hers. "Maybe for now, I could just let you have some _more_ rest before we go to Earth, huh?"

Teyla chuckled. "That would probably be a good thing. Once this child arrives, sleep will not be a frequent occurrence."

John assisted her in easing off his lap then cleaned her up and settled her in bed next to their son. As he slipped her panties back on he whispered, "I know you have a habit of leaving these everywhere but I thought Dr. Lee might have a heart attack if he finds them after we leave. We couldn't be responsible for that. I have enough guilt already."

Teyla merely smiled and closed her eyes. She was truly tired. She felt soft lips touch hers then heard John climb into the bunk above. She was glad. Often he attempted to stay awake when on the Mid Way Station but apparently their activities had somehow made him realize he might need some rest too. She snuggled closer to Torren, loving the feel of her son next to her. She also loved the feel of her husband curled up against her but she would have to wait for tonight before she could enjoy that again.

* * *

…

"Kavanagh's being stubborn as usual," John told Teyla as they paced around the gate room. "He says it's still another hour before we can go through. Maybe I should tell him you're in labor. Do you think that'll get him to let us go early? He gets a little jumpy at emergencies."

Teyla looked thoughtful then rubbed her enlarged stomach. She looked up at the control room window and called out, "Dr. Lee, Dr. Kavanagh? Do we have a medical kit on board the station?"

Lee's concerned face gazed back at them. Kavanagh just seemed annoyed. "Are you hurt, Teyla?"

"No, it is just that I have been having some pains in the past hour. They are getting closer together. I am sure it is nothing. We will wait for the full twelve hours to pass."

"Pains?" Kavanagh burst out. "Labor pains? Are you in labor? You can't have your baby here. We don't have the facilities and there's no doctor."

John watched as TJ skipped around the room, oblivious to what his mother was doing. His grumpy mood from his nap was dissipating slowly. John looked to see Kavanagh's face go pale. He hid his smirk at the man's discomfort. Teyla was doing a great job of convincing them she was in labor. Her face tensed and showed distress then she breathed in and out rhythmically attempting to calm herself.

"Um, Colonel Sheppard," Lee called down to them. "Maybe it would be okay to let you through just a little early. But you can't tell anyone. It's completely against regulations."

John glanced down at his watch and nodded. "According to my data, we came in twelve hours ago. That's what the official report will say anyway. No problem."

The gate began to hum and soon the event horizon appeared. John picked up the bags and called for TJ. The boy skipped over singing.

"We wide a horses, we wide a horses."

"That's right, Pal. So let's gallop our way through the Stargate to Earth."

His song changed to, "We go a Earth. We go a Earth." He trotted over to his mother and held up his hand. Teyla slipped hers inside his smaller one and clenched her teeth in a forced smile. John allowed them to go through first then nodded at the two relieved scientists before he walked through.

As he walked down the ramp, he saw Teyla standing still at the bottom, TJ looking up at her in confusion.

"Teyla, what's the matter? Everything okay?"

Teyla's anxious expression made him nervous. He ignored Carter as she entered the gate room and stared at his wife. He followed her downward gaze and saw a puddle on the floor at her feet.

"John, my water just broke."

…


	4. Chapter 4

_A/N: Sorry it's taken so long to get another chapter out. Life! I recently entered an online writing contest "So You Think You Can Write". My first chapter is posted titled:** Protecting His Son** written by Kari Lemor. Please check it out if you have the time. You might find a slight similarity to part of this chapter. I will try and update more frequently but it's not always easy to find time to. Thanks for all the support._

* * *

Chapter Four

"Daddy, where Mama? She got a boo boo?"

John gazed down at his son who seemed a bit worried at Teyla's moans. The ones she'd attempted to keep hidden. Once her water had broken, it had been difficult. Her labor had just taken off. John wanted to get back to her soon but he needed to make sure TJ was fine first. And Dr. Lam had insisted they needed a few minutes to get her settled.

"Mommy's in the infirmary. It's time for your sister to come out. I need to go back there to help her."

TJ wrinkled his nose in confusion. John forestalled any other questions that might be coming. "You can stay here with Teal'c, Vala and Colonel Mitchell."

John indicated the three adults who had stepped up to keep the young boy occupied while Teyla was in labor. He wasn't sure how Mitchell felt about babysitting and Teal'c, well Teal'c never really had any expression but Vala, she seemed very eager to stay with TJ.

TJ looked up at the three and then addressed Mitchell. "You a Tornel? My Daddy a Tornel too."

John smiled knowing Mitchell had gotten his full wings before he had. But they were the same rank now so he shouldn't feel inferior. Some things just never went away.

"Yup, your Dad and I are both Colonels. Kind of neat, huh?" Mitchell answered as he knelt down in front of TJ. "Hopefully that'll be okay for you to stay with another Colonel while your Dad goes to help out your Mom."

TJ looked around cautiously, his mouth pursing. When he glanced at Teal'c, his eyes narrowed. Teal'c responded by bowing low. "There are many games we could play while you are waiting for your sister to arrive. Would you like to accompany us to the gym?"

"Yes, the gym," Vala grinned. "Colonel Mitchell was just planning on sparring with Teal'c. That would be fun to watch, wouldn't it?"

Mitchell glared at her but Teal'c merely tipped his head. TJ nodded. "My Daddy and Unta Wonan do that all a time. But Unta Wonan win all a time."

"Not _all_ the time," John objected though it was _most_ of the time. He hated to admit that here though. Mitchell and Vala gave him doubtful looks. Teal'c merely raised his eyebrow.

Vala held out her hand. "We'll have lots of fun, Torren, you'll see. So much that you won't even notice the time passing by."

TJ nodded and reached for her hand. John crouched down in front of him for a hug. "It could take a while, Pal, okay. Babies don't always come real quickly. But your Mom and I are still nearby and I'll make sure to let you know as soon as your sister comes out."

TJ nodded then started to walk away with Vala. He turned at the door asking, "Daddy, how a baby tum out?"

John glared at Mitchell as the man coughed and snorted in glee. He threw an apologetic smile at Vala then smirked at Mitchell. "That's a good question, TJ. Maybe Colonel Mitchell could tell you about it while you're playing. I really need to get back to your Mom. Love you, Pal."

John headed to the infirmary and chuckled as he heard TJ ask the question again. "Tornel, how a baby tum out?"

John had stifled his laughter by the time he walked into the room set up for Teyla's delivery. Dr. Lam was fussing about with a tray of instruments. John wasn't sure what they were or how necessary they were for this. Rodney hadn't used anything but his coat when TJ had been born.

"Colonel," Carolyn Lam called out, "Good, you're here. Wash your hands over there before you come any closer. We don't need any germs flying around during the birth."

John rolled his eyes but did as asked. When he was done he approached the bed. Teyla had her eyes closed and appeared to be resting. "You know, Doc, she had her first baby on a hive ship. I'm pretty sure anything that's hanging around me is nothing compared to what was festering in that place."

The doc just glared at him so he moved to the side of the bed and rested his hip there. He picked up Teyla's hand and gently squeezed. He didn't want to disturb her if she was resting but he wanted her to know he was there. Her hand tightened on his then tightened even more. Within seconds it was caught in a death grip.

"Teyla?"

He watched as her face tensed and her mouth drew into a straight line. "I'm guessing this is a contraction."

"How astute, John," she snapped and John could feel her annoyance at his statement. But he also felt her pain and knew she didn't mean to bite his head off. He'd never thought about what it would be like when she was in labor. He couldn't feel her actual pain but he could feel that she was in pain. This might not be as exciting as he'd thought.

"Okay, doc, I'm new at this. What exactly do I need to do?"

"Well, I'm not an obstetrician or a birthing coach but I think you mainly stand here and try and keep your wife calm and relaxed. We'll do the rest."

"Calm and relaxed," John repeated sensing anything but from Teyla's emotional state. He looked at her and smiled. He loved her so much, he hated to let her down. But he'd never done anything like this before. And Rodney hadn't been any help when he'd asked about Torren's birth. The man had insisted he'd panicked most of the time until Teyla had yelled at him. Then he'd thrust his hands out and caught the baby.

He really didn't want Teyla to yell at him, though if it got her through, he'd be willing to take it. She was going through the pain of labor after all, to have his child. His child. His baby girl. The thought floored him. He was actually going to be a father.

Yes, he'd been a father to TJ but he'd kind of eased into that role over time. Teyla had been responsible for much of his upbringing. What if he completely screwed this one up? Would she blame him? Hate him for it? Old insecurities reared up and struck out at him.

Teyla lifted her hand to his arm and stroked along the hair on it. She'd said often that she loved doing that. "You are a wonderful father, John. You need not worry about this child. She will be raised well by both of us."

John sighed in relief. Here was his wife, pain lancing through her body, and she was still trying to quell his anxieties. He could feel her love flowing toward him like a rushing river. He made sure to send the surge of emotions right back at her.

Teyla gasped as another contraction hit and John clenched her hand, hoping he could provide her with the support she needed during this time. Suddenly another emotion swelled and pitched in his direction. His daughter.

He could feel her, tiny and faint but still there at the back of his mind, like a whisper in the wind. She was trying to get in on the feelings of love that he and Teyla were tossing back and forth. But he could also feel her distress. The walls around her were tightening and she was scared.

"The baby's worried. She doesn't know what's happening."

"I know," Teyla replied, her voice tight and clipped. "I have been trying to reassure her but the contractions are getting more intense and I cannot concentrate on her as much."

"Let me do it then." He wasn't in his realm of expertise with labor and delivery but he knew how to ease his daughter's stress. He'd had to do it while they'd been on the run from Armstrong and Teyla had been hurt.

"Thank you, John." The contraction ended and she eased back against the pillows.

John leaned down and pressed his lips to Teyla's belly. "Hey, little girl," he whispered, "Everything's going to be fine. We get to meet you face to face soon." He rubbed the belly and got rewarded with a series of kicks.

He sent more reassuring thoughts to his daughter then smiled. "She's okay. She's excited to meet us too."

Teyla smiled back then closed her eyes. John looked up seeing Lam watching them both strangely.

"I'd heard the rumors but … you can really communicate with the baby?"

John grinned sheepishly. "Yeah, bug DNA can really mess with your mind, literally."

"What's it like? Talking to your child that hasn't even been born yet?"

John wasn't sure he could explain. The feelings and emotions were far too intense. And he didn't talk about those things on any level. So he simply answered, "Amazing."

Another contraction started and Teyla gave a tiny squeal of pain. John focused his attention back on her and keeping their daughter from being too scared.

An hour or so later he wasn't sure how Teyla was getting through this. He was exhausted and he knew her pain was great, he could feel it. He'd been mopping her forehead with a cold face cloth and feeding her ice chips. And he'd been trying to keep his baby girl as calm as possible. But she'd also felt Teyla's pain and it frightened her more. John's emotions were run ragged.

"You're just about there, Teyla," Carolyn said as she checked the business end of the bed. She called for a nurse to come in and they quickly set up a few more supplies. This was it?

"We don't have a birthing bed so, Colonel, I'd like for you to get behind Teyla and keep her propped up in a sitting position. We need to move her further down near the end first."

Carolyn and the nurse adjusted covers and helped slide Teyla closer to the end while John slid in behind her. He wrapped his arms around her and whispered in her ear, "This is it, sweetie, our baby girl is almost here."

Teyla's hand gripped his arms as a loud moan escaped from her lips. She attempted to nod but more pain sliced through her middle and all she could do was try and breathe through it. John felt helpless. He wished there was some way to take her pain away.

"You are here and holding me. That is helping immensely, John."

John hugged her closer. "I can't get away with anything around you, can I?"

"No." Teyla began to chuckle but another wave of pain ripped through her. She gritted her teeth and rasped, "And do not forget it. Aah!"

"I think it's just about time to push, Teyla." Carolyn was standing near the end of the bed. "Let me know when you're ready."

"I was ready several weeks ago," Teyla said through clenched teeth. "However this child was not. I believe she is ready now."

John leaned into his wife and sent as much love and encouragement as he could to both Teyla and their daughter. They were both filled with fear though Teyla's was more physical than emotional.

"Okay, Teyla, on the next contraction I need you to push and hold it. As long as you can."

Teyla whimpered and John knew she was remembering when TJ was born. Of course her pain and fear at that time was very different from now.

The next contraction ripped through her and Teyla tensed. John gripped her tighter as she pushed. After several seconds, which seemed like hours, she collapsed against him, resting momentarily.

"Good, Teyla, the baby's right here. I can see her head. Are you ready to push again?" Carolyn looked expectantly in Teyla's direction.

Her breathing was harsh so John encouraged, "You can do it, sweetie."

Teyla nodded slightly, took a deep breath then held her breath in another push. John leaned into her to help keep her upright.

They did this a few more times and John felt Teyla's strength waning. He also felt his baby girl's anxiety at what was happening. He gave everything he could to sending love and comfort to his two girls.

When the next contraction hit, Teyla cried out but John saw the head appear near the doc's hands. He murmured more words of encouragement to his wife.

"That was the hardest part, Teyla," Carolyn informed her. "Just one more push and we're done."

A few more whimpers escaped Teyla's mouth but she took another deep breath and pushed. It barely took a second and his daughter was resting in Carolyn's hands. The nurse swooped in to suction and clean, then a cry rent the air.

John supported Teyla's sagging body but his eyes never left the sight of the tiny creature flailing her arms and legs. He'd never seen anything so wonderful. His daughter. _Their _daughter. The culmination of the love that he and Teyla had for each other. Wow.

"Look at her, Teyla," John whispered not wishing to disturb the scene.

Carolyn placed the baby in Teyla's arms and John settled more comfortably behind her so his arms supported hers which held the infant. He reached out a finger and stroked the downy softness of his little girl's head.

"She's absolutely beautiful. Just like you, Teyla." John cleared his throat, something blocking it, a massive lump of emotion.

"Yes, she is perfect," Teyla answered softly. "I knew she would be."

John pressed his lips to Teyla's cheek, his hand still touching his child. The little eyes opened though they were clearly unfocused. He caressed her cheek and sent waves of love her way.

"Colonel, would you like to hold your daughter for a few minutes while we get Teyla finished off and cleaned up. We still need to deliver the placenta."

She looked at Teyla. "You don't really need to do anything. A quick tug and it should be out. You can just lay back and rest."

John eased out from under Teyla and helped her recline on the bed. They raised the head a bit, tucking a few pillows under her, then Carolyn reached for the baby. "Give me a minute to check her out completely and then we'll get Teyla all fixed up."

John watched as the doc did an examine of his daughter, worry crowding his other emotions. "Everything's all right, isn't it, Doc?"

Carolyn smiled as she wrapped the infant in a soft, warm blanket then walked toward him. "She's perfect. Just like Teyla said."

She handed the baby to John and he swallowed as he took the slight weight in his arms. "She's so light."

"Just under seven pounds. What you might expect of an infant who's a week early. Perfectly healthy."

The doctor and nurse got busy helping Teyla so John walked to the other side of the room, pulling his daughter closer.

"Hey, baby girl, I'm your Daddy. That was your Mom just holding you. I'll give you right back to her in a minute. The doc has to get her all cleaned up."

John leaned in close, pressing his nose to her head, inhaling. A wave of intense emotion assaulted him, making him feel protective and territorial. This was his child, his baby girl. He didn't want to let her go, ever. Relief that they were on Earth washed over him. He didn't need to worry about the Wraith or any other enemies right here.

John closed his eyes, feeling moisture start to form. He couldn't let anyone else see it, he was in a military facility. But the deep love and feeling for his child permeated every cell in his body. He didn't think he'd ever experienced anything like this before.

He blinked back the tears and opened his eyes. The baby was staring right at him. _Hi Daddy! _The words fairly screamed at him.

"Hey, Princess. You know who I am, don't you?"

She knew. He could feel it. The same love and acceptance that she'd given him while she was still inside came wafting at him. But now she felt the warmth of his arms holding her close. And she was happy.

"John."

Teyla's voice rang softly across the room. John turned to see Teyla, sitting up in bed, her face bereft. She wished to hold their child.

John quickly crossed to her and settled on the side of the bed. He leaned over, placing the child in Teyla's waiting arms. "Here's Mommy. She wants a little time with you, too. I guess I can't hog you all the time, no matter how much I want to."

"You will have plenty of opportunity to hold your daughter, John, I promise," Teyla said with a grin. "Especially when it is the middle of the night. I will have no problem relinquishing my hold on her at that time."

John chuckled and sent her an adoring glare. Right now he was so enamored of his child, he couldn't care about any lost sleep. They'd certainly lost plenty at times with TJ.

"I told TJ I'd come get him as soon as the baby was born." John looked at Carolyn where she was organizing supplies. "Doc, can he come in here to see his sister?"

"Of course, Colonel. Just make sure to clean him up a bit if he's been playing."

"You'll be okay if I go get TJ?" John asked as Teyla loosened her hospital gown.

She nodded. "I will try and get her to nurse for a minute. She may only take a small amount but she needs to learn. I should be done by the time you have returned."

John leaned down and kissed Teyla's cheek then touched his lips to the baby's head. "I'll be right back."

He walked to the door, turning back for a last glance at his two beautiful ladies. Teyla had the infant at her breast and she was suckling hungrily. Yeah, no picky eater for his child.

He made good time in getting to the gym and found TJ jumping up and down with boxing gloves on his hands. He could barely keep them up. He was swinging his fists at Teal'c who _almost _had a smile on his face.

"Hey, Pal, who's winning?"

"Daddy!" TJ stopped his hands though the weight of the glove kept him going in one direction and he almost fell over. Teal'c grabbed him at the last second, keeping him upright.

"Are you just about done? I have a little surprise for you."

Teal'c stood up and bowed his head. "Has Teyla delivered your child then, Sheppard?"

John smirked his eyes twinkling. "Yup. Thought you might want to go see your little sister, Pal. She's anxious to meet you."

TJ started jumping up and down and John removed his gloves then patted his head. "Slow down, tiger. You need to be calm when we see her. She's new to everything around here so we can't be too wild."

"Otay, Daddy, I be good. I always be good. Wight, Teal'c? I was good, wight?"

"Your behavior was exemplary. You should make your father proud."

"Thanks, Teal'c. I appreciate your watching him. Did Vala and Mitchel bail on you?"

"Colonel Mitchell was needed elsewhere and Vala went to procure food for your son. Would you care for her to bring it to the infirmary?"

John nodded. "That'd be great. Thanks again. I'm sure we'll see you before we leave. I'd love for you to meet my new daughter."

"I would be honored, Shepard." Teal'c bowed his head.

John scooped TJ from the floor and carried him down the hall. He tried to let him walk most places but every now and then carrying him was just easier. And with the new baby, he might not get a chance to do it as much.

John stopped in a lavatory to clean both him and Torren up, laughing as he saw his hair practically standing on end. He must have done that during the labor. It didn't matter what he looked like though. He wanted to get back to his family.

When they walked in, Teyla was holding the baby close and whispering to her. John felt Teyla's love for the child intensely from where he stood. He felt TJ's excitement at finally meeting his sister and then he felt the baby's curiosity when she realized TJ was in the room with her. The bond between the family was full circle. He couldn't think of anything more fulfilling.

He walked closer and sat on the side of the bed. "TJ, this is your sister."

TJ leaned in and cautiously touched her arm. Teyla nodded her consent and he patted her head. "Hi, baby. I happy you here. We waitin' for a long time for you to tum out. I told Mama and Daddy that I share my toys with you. They say you too little to play with them for a while but it otay. I save them for you."

TJ smiled and John knew he'd felt his sister's heartfelt emotions, happy to finally be with them all. TJ then looked at Teyla curiously.

"Mama, what a baby's name?"

Teyla smiled at him knowing they had discussed it in depth. She kissed the child's head and lifted her eyebrow. "Torren, you were named after my father and after your Daddy, thus Torren John. We are naming your sister after very special people in our lives as well, to honor them."

Teyla paused and John felt deep emotion well inside her at the memory of those people.

"She will be called Charin Elizabeth."

…


	5. Chapter 5

_a/n: I apologize for the delay in the next chapter. Life happens. Mine gave me a gorgeous little grandson. A new baby just like John and Teyla now have._

Chapter Five

* * *

"What the heck are you looking at, Sheppard?"

John raised his eyes and stared at Mitchell, his question finally sinking in. "I'm looking at my daughter. Did it seem like I was looking anywhere else?"

Cam Mitchell rolled his eyes. "You've been staring at that kid for ten minutes now but she hasn't even twitched in all that time."

"Daddy's happy she finally here," TJ broke in, his mouth full of the macaroni and cheese he was stuffing it with.

John smiled. TJ knew what he was thinking even if he didn't always know himself. And yeah, he was happy. Although happy might have been an understatement. Seeing his child, the one he'd been communicating with for so many months, was still mind-blowing. The love emanating from his heart was so powerful he was surprised he didn't see little cherubs and rainbows floating near him.

John grinned as he checked out Mitchell. He supposed he should be a better supper companion. Mitchell's dinner was gone and John had barely touched his.

"Sorry, Mitchell. Not much of a conversationalist today I guess. Charin was awake on and off last night and I walked her around a bit so Teyla could get a little sleep. She's exhausted. I'm a little tired myself."

John juggled the infant to one arm and lifted his fork to his mouth. The food wasn't warm anymore but he'd eaten worse. He took a few more bites then smiled at his daughter again. Amazing.

"Don't think she's changed all that much in the last thirty seconds, Sheppard." Mitchell's voice was dry with humor.

John glared at his friend. "You know what you need, Mitchell. You need a few kids. Then maybe you'd understand. Having a child is just so incredible. I can't even explain it."

Mitchell's face got a horrified expression. "Think I'd need me a woman first. I've been off world so much lately they aren't really lining up at the door."

John looked around at the empty mess hall. "How about Vala? She seems like she'd be the fun type and she loves hanging out with TJ."

Mitchell grimaced. "Oh, yeah, she's fun all right but I don't think so. One, she already had a kid and that didn't turn out so great."

"Oh, yeah, Adria, wasn't it. Galactic domination and all that."

Mitchell smirked. "Yup, but she also has a thing for Jackson. I wouldn't want to get in the way of that."

"You're just a coward. Don't want a woman who will walk all over you."

Mitchell raised his eyebrow. "Would you?"

John leaned down to press his lips against Charin's head. He loved the scent of this child. Maybe it was weird but he just couldn't get enough of smelling her. Must be some animal instinct/territorial thing.

He cocked his head as he glanced back at Mitchell. "My wife can kick my ass. I don't have a problem with that. Kind of proud of it actually."

"Daddy," TJ scolded. "Mama don't lite you use that word."

John grimaced. "How about you don't tell her and I'll let you have another bowl of jello."

TJ's eyes lit up and he nodded vigorously.

"Okay, finish a few more bites of your mac and cheese and I'll get you some."

John rose, holding his daughter close, loving the feel of her against him. It wasn't the same feeling he got when he held Teyla against him but it was just as powerful. As he walked past Mitchell he asked, "Want to hold her for a second so I can get a cup of coffee too? I can't get that and jello at the same time if I'm holding her."

Fear raced across the man's face. John chuckled, placing the baby in Mitchell's arms. "You don't have to do anything. Just don't drop her."

John took his time getting the dessert and his coffee then observed Mitchell who was now staring at Charin intently. John knew it wouldn't be the same for him as it wasn't his child but holding a baby was still such an amazing feeling, he knew the man would be affected.

Sure enough, within a minute, Mitchell smiled and pulled Charin closer. Yup, win one for the baby.

He strolled back and sat down, placing TJ's extra dessert next to his first. Then he settled back to sip his coffee. Mitchell was now staring at the infant with what must be a similar expression to the one he'd been wearing earlier.

"Kind of nice, huh?"

Mitchell's head popped up and he wiped the stupid grin from his face. He gave a nonchalant shrug and said, "I guess it's not bad. But she's asleep. I imagine it's not as pleasant when they're awake and screaming."

With that, the baby squirmed and let out a tiny squeak. Anxiety flared on Mitchell's face and he stood up quickly. "Um, Sheppard, I think she wants her Dad."

John took a few more sips of his coffee knowing it could be a while before he got any again. He stood, intending to rescue the man.

TJ took the spoon from his mouth, laughing. "No, she got a poop in her diaper and it don't feel good."

Mitchell held her away from his body, panic in every muscle. "Then she definitely wants her Dad."

"Coward."

John eased the child into his arms. "I usually tell Teyla the baby wants her but she just laughs and gives me that look."

"The wife look?" Mitchell asked.

John sighed. "Yup, that one."

"Better you than me, pal."

"Thanks. I wouldn't give it up for anything."

Mitchell smirked again. "You are so whipped, Sheppard."

John kissed his daughter's head again and smiled. "By more than just Teyla. And happy to be there. Come on, TJ, are you done?"

He looked at the child who had just finished scooping the last of the clear blue substance. "Yup, Daddy, I done. We need a go. Charin don't like poop in her diaper."

John ushered the boy out and heard Mitchell mutter as they left, "Who would?"

* * *

..

"Are you all set to go, Sheppard?" Jack O'Neill asked as the little family exited the infirmary. "Do you need any help with anything?"

John hefted their bags onto his shoulders and glanced at Teyla holding the baby and coaxing TJ to pick up his. He sighed and shook his head. "I think we'll probably manage."

"John," Sam Carter joined in. "Why don't you let the general help. He's been dying to hold that daughter of yours again ever since he picked her up yesterday. It'll make your life easier if you just give in. Then he won't have to stand here like a puppy looking for a bone."

Teyla smiled that knowing smile and approached O'Neill. "General, would you do us the honor of carrying Charin for us while I get Torren ready?"

A smug grin lit O'Neill's face as he held out his arms. "I thought you'd never ask."

The baby settled in the general's arms and he began making nonsense sounds. John tried to hide his amusement at the sight. O'Neill just continued to make faces and talk silly. He must have been one great Dad. John's insides clenched at the thought of losing one of his children, and he did think of TJ as his. He didn't know how O'Neill had managed to get through it. He wasn't sure he'd be strong enough.

Sam moved near Teyla and picked up one of the bags. "Let me help with this. Carolyn said you shouldn't be lifting anything heavier than the baby."

Teyla didn't argue. She was exhausted. It had only been two days since she had delivered their daughter and sleep had been long in coming. That, along with the intensity of the delivery itself and trying to nurse the child every few hours, had her near the end of her rope. Dr. Lam had tried to get her to stay in the infirmary a few more days but Teyla thought the place was far too depressing. She needed sunlight and air, not the hard, bare walls and antiseptic smell.

"TJ, pick up your bag and let's go." John's voice held no room for argument and she was glad to see her son pick up his bag, though he did allow a pout to form on his lips. John's voice softened as he continued, "Good job! You're old enough to carry your own bag and we need your help."

"Otay, Daddy." He looked up, his chin quivering a bit. "You think Guinness otay? I miss him."

"He's with Woolsey, right?" O'Neill stopped his babbling long enough to look up. "He'll be fine, Torren. Mr. Woolsey used to have a dog kind of like Guinness. He loved that dog and misses him, just like how you miss him. But I know he's taking good care of him."

TJ nodded though his lips still trembled. Teyla ruffled her fingers through his curls. "He will be fine and so will you. We will be back to Atlantis soon. Until then you will have fun meeting your new cousin, Patrick and seeing Uncle David and Auntie Julia again."

Torren perked up at this, his eyes lit with excitement. "And I get a wide a horses?"

John chuckled then propelled his son toward the elevator. "We'll have to see what the weather's like. If it's not too cold we can probably go on a ride. But I'm not promising anything, do you understand, TJ?"

TJ nodded exuberantly. "If it not too told we wide a horses. I won't be told, Daddy. I be warm."

They entered the elevator and Sam pushed the buttons for the ground level. Teyla just shook her head. She had a feeling it could be frigid outside and Torren would not admit to being cold. She hoped for his sake the weather was warm enough to ride the horses. He so loved it and it would help keep his mind from missing his dog.

When they reached the top and got through the requisite security points, Teyla reached out for Charin. "Thank you, General O'Neill, for assisting us."

"Oh, we plan on going along for the ride to Peterson. Carter and I have a plane to catch to DC. Hope that's okay?"

"Sure," John answered. "Nothing wrong, is there?"

"Nothing wrong. That's where Jack's office is, even though he doesn't always remember." Sam smiled as she said this. "I'm making up some excuse for why I need to go too."

Jack handed the baby over to John as they approached the car so he could put her in the car seat. Dave had sent one along with the plane that was waiting for them at the airstrip.

"Now that the cat's out of the bag about us being married no one really questions when Sam comes along. There aren't all that many people who have the guts to question a general. Military people anyway."

John just nodded. Even though O'Neill was a fairly unorthodox guy, John wouldn't dare question him either. He needed the man on his team when it came to certain matters. Luckily he had been often in the past. Although that could have been because John had pulled his bacon out of the fire a few times.

They got inside the town car and Torren looked around. John and Teyla were on one side with the baby between them. Carter and O'Neill on the other. John reached for him.

"You can sit in my lap if you want, Pal. We'll buckle you in with me. It's not a very long drive."

Torren slyly glanced at Sam. "Tornel Tarter, it otay I sit with you?"

Sam beamed. It was obvious she was pleased with the question. "Of course, Torren. I'd love for you to sit next to me. Let me help you buckle."

Torren climbed on the seat and his face matched Sam's. John chuckled at the adoration shining in his son's eyes. "I think someone has a crush. Better watch out, General, you might have some competition."

O'Neill scowled though his eyes were shining with mirth. "A younger man, huh, Carter? You do realize that would make Sheppard your father-in-law. A little awkward considering you were his CO for a while."

Everyone laughed and the car started moving. Torren began a stream of dialogue that didn't seem to end and John just leaned back, closing his eyes. He felt something touch his hand and looked down to see Teyla's fingers creep into his. He gave them a squeeze then closed his eyes again. What had he ever done to deserve this woman?

The ride soon ended and John saw Dave's plane waiting for them. It sure was nice to have a brother who could afford these luxuries. Just another few hours and they'd be able to relax a bit. The military aspect of the SGC never quite gave them that feeling.

"Our plane's a little ways down the runway, Sheppard," O'Neill informed them as he and Teyla gathered their things. "Thanks for letting us tag along."

John smirked. It had been more the other way around but who would argue with a general.

John lifted the car seat then helped Teyla exit from the car. She was still sore from the delivery though she'd never admit it. His wife was far too proud. And maybe a bit too much like him in some respects.

"We've already loaded all your bags on board, Sir," the airman who was holding the door open for them said. "Is there anything else we can do for you?"

"Sure," John replied and gestured to the little boy who had started jumping around after leaving the car. "You forgot one package. See if you can corral that one and get him on board."

The airman looked panicked for a second but TJ bounced right over to him and held up his hand. Relief settled on the soldier's features as he took the proffered appendage and led the bundle of energy up the stairs. A squeal escaped from inside and John moved quicker, only looking back to make sure Teyla was fine. She was still saying good bye to Carter.

He reached the top of the stairs and scurried inside the luxury jet. His brother was standing there, TJ happily in his arms.

"Dave? I didn't realize you were coming with the plane. Did Julia come along, too?"

"No, Patrick's not quite ready for this kind of travel yet. But she wanted me to make sure you actually got here. And she was having some sort of lady's party so I wasn't really welcome anyway."

John shifted the car seat to his left hand and gripped Dave's with his right. "Thanks for coming. And we appreciate the ride. Military transport isn't always as comfortable as this."

Dave lowered TJ to one of the upholstered seats and leaned over. "So, do I get an introduction to my niece?"

John grinned, the powerful love floating through him and energizing him as it traveled. He set the car seat down and lifted the blanket. Charin was sleeping peacefully, as perfect as an angel. She was an angel. Teyla didn't always agree at three in the morning when she wanted to eat.

"Dave, this is my daughter, Charin Elizabeth Emmagen Sheppard."

Dave's eyes twinkled. "That's a mouthful for such a tiny thing. I forgot how small they were at first."

John laughed. "I don't think Patrick was ever this small. Didn't you say he was almost nine pounds? Teyla cringed when she heard that. I saw what Teyla went through with Charin so I imagine Julia was cringing quite a bit too."

"Who was cringing and why?" Teyla asked coming through the doorway of the plane.

Dave moved forward and gave Teyla a big hug. He nodded to the pilot who closed the doors and went into the cockpit. "Teyla, it's great to see you. Julia was so excited when we heard you were coming to visit for Christmas. You should see how she's decorated the house. You'd think she was Mrs. Claus and we lived at Santa's workshop."

Teyla just smiled. John had told her all about the Christmas traditions of Earth and Santa but he may have missed some of the finer details. He could fill her in later.

"We should probably get settled for take-off." John strapped the car seat into the seat then started on TJ. "It's been a long few days and the sooner we can get to your house, Dave, the better."

Teyla eased herself gingerly onto the seat next to Charin and fastened her belt. John settled near the window near Torren, who was barely keeping his excitement contained.

"Unta Dave, it told at your house? Daddy said we tould wide a horses if it not told. I weally wanna wide a horses!"

"It's a little chilly but if you have a warm coat, we might be able to take them out. They do need exercise and they don't mind the colder weather like we do."

"Daddy," TJ asked and John almost groaned. He had just closed his eyes hoping for at least a minute reprieve from the Inquisition of Torren Emmagen. "I got a warm toat? I wanna wide a horses and Unta Dave said…"

"TJ," Dave interrupted. "If you don't have one, I'm sure we can get you one. Auntie Julia likes nothing better than shopping for clothes whether her own or someone else's. Why don't you tell me about what you've been doing lately and let your Dad rest for a minute. Having a new baby can make you very tired."

John sighed knowing he owed Dave big time. He should make it a point to do something really nice for him. TJ was still chattering away but John wasn't needed in that conversation so he simply tuned it out. In short order everything else was tuned out too and he slipped into blissful slumber.

* * *

…

"John, Teyla, come on in, quick," Julie called out as they arrived at the house. "It's too chilly to be outside for long."

Teyla pulled Torren along as John and David brought in the bags and the baby seat. She hoped things would begin to settle down though she knew with an infant nothing was easy. And they still had to deal with a not quite four year old. Julia and David couldn't help out as much as they usually did since they had a four month old child to take care of.

Teyla rushed past and placed a quick kiss on Julia's cheek, moving through the hall way to the back family room. It had always been the most comfortable room in the house. And she loved coming to visit but she did wish that John had picked a better time. Not when she was due to deliver their child. But for some reason he was insistent they be on Earth at this time.

John did not ask much of her and she had felt his desperate need to be back. He didn't think of it as home, that was where they resided together as a family, Atlantis. But his memories of the planet and his childhood seemed to be fonder than they had been in the past. Teyla did not wish to deny him this.

"Where's my nephew?" John asked as he dropped the bags inside the door to the bedrooms right off the family room and set the car seat on the floor.

"He's napping right now," Julia replied. "He should be up in a little while and you can meet him then. For now I'd love to meet your daughter."

"This is Charin, the perfect," he said pride evident in his tone. Teyla loved hearing it but even more, loved feeling it so deeply in his heart.

He knelt down, removed the cover then unbuckled their daughter. She had begun to fuss a few minutes ago.

"She is hungry, John. I should have fed her a short while ago but it was not convenient." The inconvenience was also that her breasts were now solid and painful. They would get worse if she did not express some of the milk.

"Why don't you use the recliner," Julia suggested. "I find it's the most comfortable chair to nurse in. It's nice and wide but soft on the bottom."

Julia smiled. Apparently her sister-in-law knew exactly what she was feeling. She started to bend to pick up Charin but John had beaten her to it.

"Why don't you get settled in the chair, sweetie, while I change her diaper? She's got to be soaked by now. I'll bring her over when she's clean."

"Thank you, John. You are so thoughtful."

John threw her a ridiculous look and smirked. "You're getting the one at three this morning so don't get all grateful yet."

Teyla chuckled then moved toward the chair. She knew her husband was joking. He would be right there beside her when this child awoke each time. It might not last forever, back on Atlantis he would have duties to perform, but for now he wished to assist her. She could feel his desire to ease her burden though he could hardly feed the child. That was her job alone.

John made quick work of the diaper change and Charin was squealing and squirming by the time he was done. Dave looked uncomfortably over at her.

"TJ, I took down lots of boxes from the attic with all those toys you played with last time. Want to go check them out?"

Torren's head bobbed up and down rapidly. "You got a farm?"

"Yeah, I took down the farm. You ready. John, you coming?"

She knew John was torn. He had desired to see his brother for a while but he also was fascinated watching his daughter feed. Surprisingly it had not been due to his desire to see her naked breast. He truly was amazed just watching their child.

"I'll be right there, Dave." He glanced at Teyla. "Do you need me for anything, sweetie? Or are you all set?"

Teyla had already set her sore bottom down on the chair and did not wish to get up again so she pointed to the diaper bag. "Could you get me a few of those cloth diapers, please? That should be all I need."

He handed them to her then leaned down to kiss her cheek. His lips then moved to Charin's head. She heard his inhalation. He was enjoying his daughter's scent.

"I'll be right in the other room if you need me."

He moved off then Julia looked over. "Do you want some privacy, Teyla? I can go join them or find something to do in the kitchen. I put some food in a crock pot for dinner but I can start getting the rest ready."

"No, Julia, please sit and keep me company. I am not uncomfortable feeding my child in public. My people do not have the inhibitions that yours do. But I have learned not all from your world are comfortable while I am doing this."

Charin was getting frantic at this point so Teyla undid her buttons. She tucked one of the cloth diapers under her breast knowing her milk was so heavy it would be dripping all over. She lowered Charin to her left breast first and winced as the child attempted to latch on. She was still new to feeding and needed to be taught how to suck. The last few days had been somewhat successful but when she went too long without, she was too needy to focus.

Teyla spoke gentle words to her and sent her calming thoughts. Charin settled down and began to feed. She tucked the cloth diaper closer to her right breast as it too had begun to leak.

"Not as easy as they tell you, huh?" Julia observed. "Patrick had a heck of a time latching on the first few weeks and I needed a lactation specialist to help out. David was wonderful but he felt so helpless as I sat there crying because our baby wouldn't eat."

"Yes," Teyla responded feeling much better now that her milk was releasing. I can sense John's frustration at times when Charin is being difficult. Of course she is only two days old but the first few days are very stressful for all involved, especially the infant."

Julia looked interested. "Does she tell you that? I know you can feel her too."

Teyla smiled. "She does not speak to me in words. But I know she is confused by what has happened. She was snug and safe inside for so long and now she is lifted and prodded and wiped clean throughout the day. John has done a wonderful job of assuring her we are here for here."

"Wow, I can't even imagine what that would be like. It would certainly help when he's awake at two in the morning and won't go back to sleep."

"Most likely he does not know why. Or he is simply looking for comfort. Charin has been comforted by John quite a bit these past few days. I know I should not but I have felt their connections at times and it is strong."

"Not as strong as yours though, right? You're her mother. You carried her inside for so long."

"Yes, and we do have a very strong connection but I wonder if because of John's Ancient DNA and hers, they share something I cannot."

"Does that bother you, Teyla?" Julia's face showed her concern. Teyla was so fortunate to have a sister-in-law with such compassion and love for her.

"No," she answered truthfully. While she was envious of John's intense connection, she knew she also had a special place in her child's heart. And right now in her belly. She placed the second cloth diaper over her shoulder and lifted Charin to rest there. The child snuggling closely to her chest filled her with such emotion, it tingled through every nerve.

"Children are such a blessing, are they not, Julia?"

"Yes, they are." Emotion filled Julia's voice.

As a cry filled the air, Teyla looked to see a small device emitting the whining sound. A baby monitor. Apparently they would be meeting Patrick sooner than anticipated.

"Yes, they are a blessing." Julia sighed as she got to her feet and another loud scream rent the air. As she left the room, Teyla heard her mumble, "I just have to keep reminding myself of that fact."

* * *

…

The hallway was long and metallic and so unlike Wraith living space. But it was necessary for this situation. He took his time approaching the room where his new Queen waited for him.

He hadn't served a Queen in some time but she had called for him and he had needed her assistance. They each had something the other wanted. He would have to be careful that he did not end up with less than he now had.

The drone standing guard did nothing but grunt as the door slid open. She'd gotten that much of the equipment to work apparently. He wondered what else she needed. And how much she was willing to give to get what she wanted.

He approached the throne and knelt in deference to her stature. "My Queen, you called for me."

She took her time before she graced him with her gaze. Her lip curled up in one corner as she stood, towering over him in his servile state. The action was not lost on him. She was exerting control.

And she should be. He was but a servant to her. When had he stopped thinking in those terms? He still felt the need, desire to follow a Queen but lately it had not been as strong. He must make sure to keep those thoughts deeply hidden. It would not do to have her discover his secrets. And he had no doubt she could find them if she wanted to.

No one could withstand the probe of a Wraith Queen. An inner chuckle moved through him. _Except John Sheppard_. Perhaps Sheppard would deign to give him lessons on resisting.

"You are wondering why I sent for you."

He wasn't. He had a fairly good idea. He wouldn't let her know that though. He needed her as much as she needed him.

"No, my Queen. I merely live to serve."

Her lips curled into a snarl exposing the sharp teeth inside. He sent waves of deference to her, hoping to satisfy her need for control.

"This place," she dramatically waved her hand around the room, shimmering in coppers and greenish blues. "It has many secrets and I wish to find them all. It was built by those we vanquished years ago. Those known as the Ancestors to the humans living in this galaxy. I wish to learn all it has to offer."

"In what way may I serve you, my Queen?" He already knew what she wanted but she'd want to say it herself. Such was the importance of her personage.

"We have only been able to access a small portion of the information available. The machinery will not work and we are unable to retrieve anything of value to us. I know it is here but we cannot get to it. I need to get to it."

"What would you wish of me, my Queen? I am a scientist not an information gatherer. I am able to work Wraith technology quite well, but that of the Ancestor's, I am not an expert."

"I do not need an expert," she spat at him, her eyes flaring. "I need someone who can turn this equipment on. It is my understanding that you know where to find the person I need."

"The Ancestors have long ago fled this galaxy my Queen. There are none left."

"But there is one left," she screamed moving closer to him. "One who has the ability to bring this station back to life.

He kept calm and did not flinch as she stared him down. He closed his mind allowing only a few images to slip through. Ones that would have no meaning to her. But enough that she would not know he was hiding anything. That would mean his death.

"You speak of Sheppard. He is a descendent of the Ancestors and strong with their genetics."

"And I hear he is mated to one with Wraith blood." Her eyes sparkled with evil intent. "And she is carrying a child of their union. This child will be special. Can you imagine what can be done with combined power such as that? If it is a female, she could rule this galaxy with my guidance."

Sheppard would never allow that. Of course Sheppard was only one man. How much could he control? "The child has not yet been born, my Queen. And human offspring are helpless for many years. Are you willing to wait that long to explore this place?"

"No." Her answer was short and clipped. She walked away, breathing heavy. As she turned back he schooled his features. "But Sheppard can bring these devices to life. And then he can serve us and keep his child alive while we teach her in our ways."

"He will not be so easy to turn, my Queen. Have you not heard from others?"

"Yes," she sneered. "But my sisters are weak. When met with my power and control, Sheppard will have no choice but to follow me and do my bidding. You must bring him here."

"Yes, my Queen. But Sheppard will not come on my word alone. His people will not let him. I must offer him something he needs."

She nodded and motioned for him to follow her. He did, down another long hallway to a large room with equipment on every side. His eyes flew to the colorful, tube-shaped articles glowing on the shelves.

"I believe the Lanteans use these, do they not? We have yet to get them to work in any capacity. What do they do?"

"I am not sure, my Queen," he lied.

The Lanteans would pay dearly to get these power sources, these ZPM's as they called them. And what would they give for the machine behind the shelves that created these items? Would they give up a child? Sheppard never would nor his Young Queen but some among them might possibly betray them for a taste of the power a roomful of these would bring.

"I have seen a few of them however they did not glow therefore I assume they were broken or drained of their power source." He could never tell her they _were_ a power source. And a great one at that.

"Perhaps if I have a few of these as a bargaining tool, I can lure Sheppard here. Once he is here, you can do with him as you wish."

"And how do we get the offspring? I need the child as well. The power of that one is tremendous."

"If we have Sheppard, I guarantee his mate will come after him. Then you have her and the child within her."

"You are certain she will come? Even in her state? I have heard humans are more frail when they are carrying one inside. All the more reason why Wraith breed in a far superior way."

He had studied Wraith history and knew they had the ability to reproduce as humans did but technology had advanced such that they no longer chose to do so. With the Lantean power source at his disposal, could he continue his research on Wraith digestion and progress further to reproduction? He would need several of the power sources. And if he delivered Sheppard, he felt his Queen would gladly hand them over. It was a small price to pay for what she was getting. And this facility had the capability to create more. He was certain of it.

"Sheppard's mate will attempt to rescue him. Humans bond quite deeply with their mates. She will come."

He made his voice ring with authority but the truth was he was not so sure the young Queen _would_ come. The incubation period of humans was long however he did not have the information as to exactly when her incubation period would be over. If she had already delivered the child, it would be near impossible to get at him.

"I will need three, maybe four of those devices to draw Sheppard here. It may take some time as the Lanteans are not stupid. They will suspect trickery. If done correctly though, I will have him here before the next moon."

She waved her hand casually at the glowing objects. "Take what you need. That refers to time as well. I can be patient if the end result is worth it. But do not test my patience. I will not wait too long."

She turned and left the room, effectively dismissing him. He wasted no time. He picked up a case and stuffed three inside. He hesitated then picked up two more. If he could not get Sheppard to meet with him, and Sheppard had good reason not to trust him, then he still wanted something out of this deal. He would offer two to the Lanteans. He could see them drooling, especially Dr. McKay, at the power leashed inside each one. Then he would still have three for himself.

Luckily he had more intelligence than his newest Queen and her servants. He knew how to unleash the power of these devices. A smile broke across his face thinking of what he could accomplish with the power of three ZPMs.

* * *

…


End file.
